Never Give Up

Written by A Prodigal, January 20, 2007.

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But Joseph said to them, “Do not be afraid! Am I in the place of God?   Even though you intended to do harm to me, God intended it for good, in order to preserve a numerous people, as he is doing today. -Genesis 50:19-20

We end Genesis where we began: God is in control.  And here, right at the end, is the most startling and conclusive evidence of that fact.  Let’s review:

Jacob deceives Isaac and steals his brother’s blessing.  In fear for his life, he flees to his mother’s family where he marries and is blessed with eleven sons, 10 of whom conspire against the eleventh, the impetuous and somewhat insensitive Joseph.  They end up selling him to a group of Midianite traders on their way to Egypt believing they are finally done with his silly dreams.

But somewhere along the way, whether sitting in the well, on the desert trip to Egypt, or maybe on the auction block, Joseph becomes a man.  A man of God.  God’s instrument.

So here, at the end of the story, we see God’s purpose – the salvation of His nation.

Our lesson?  From the very worst the world and Satan throw at us; from the divorces and the bankruptcies;  from the addictions and prison terms; from the layoffs and the insensitivity of bosses and fellow workers; from the isolation from loved ones and seasons of apparent uselessness; what the world means for harm, God can – and will – redeem for our good and His glory.

Our job? Emulate Joseph, patiently endure and never, never, never give up.

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God’s Instrument

Penned by A Prodigal on January 18, 2007, from a prison cell.

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And now do not be distressed, or angry with yourselves, because you sold me here; for God sent me before you to preserve life.  Genesis 45:5

God’s instrument.  Joy in a far away land.  Joseph was able to see the fulfillment of God’s plan and the reason for all his trouble.  He was blessed in this way.

Not all of us will be able to see and determine why we face the trials and tests that enter our lives.  But we can know, as with Joseph, that God has a plan and a purpose and will use each and every one to fulfill that plan.

There is nothing God can’t do with a surrendered life.

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Preference

“He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty.”  Psalms 91:1

Incline my heart continually toward Thee, O God.  May I seek Thy favor in every desire, and make only that which is of Thee my everlasting….

 Let me not be rich in this world’s goods,
                But let me know a wealth of quiet woods
Where I may rest enthroned upon a log,
                And listen to the whisperings of God!

 Let me never feel the kiss of fame,
                Or swell with pride at popular acclaim;
For these are transient glories doomed to dust…
                But grant me please, instead, a child’s pure trust. 

Let me never know a life of ease,
                Sodden with the pelf of vanities;
But let me do some unobtrusive thing
                To soothe a hurt, or cause a heart to sing!

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For more of the poetry of my grandmother, visit the “Uplifted Eyes” page.

Also, please subscribe below for weekly updates on this site.

Prison to Palace

Written by A Prodigal from a prison cell – January 17. 2007.

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So Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has shown you all this, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be over my house, and all my people shall order themselves as you command; only with regard to the throne will I be greater than you.”Genesis 41:39-40

From the prison to the palace.  God’s faithfulness and perfect timing works in a life committed to Him!

“Two years later….”  I’ve done twenty-four months in prison (more than that actually) but I deserved to be there.  Joseph didn’t!  I can’t imagine his fight to stay faithful to and focused on God in the face of such injustice and through such a lengthy internment.

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A Simple Task

Written by A Prodigal on January 15, 2007.

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He answered, “Here I am.” Genesis 37:13b

Joseph would never have believed how that day would turn out.  How his agreement to perform that errand for his aging father would change his life.  How that paternal request fulfilled an eternal plan.

Joseph was an instrument of God’s but his edges were rough.  His dreams were gifts from above but the ability to harness them for God’s purposes would require many difficult miles, many lonely days and nights, many heart breaking setbacks and times of utter discouragement.  Little did he know, as he set out to find had brothers, that he was stepping into God’s crucible and fulfilling his divine destiny.

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The Snooze Button

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With the daily newscasts screaming the reports of the unspeakable acts of violence – murder, suicide, child molestation, rape, kidnapping, etc. – on top of the reports of the anguish and distress among the nations of the world, eruption of civil wars, terrorists on the loose and threats of nuclear attack made weekly on neighboring countries as well as the United States and Israel, it is astounding to realize that the church is asleep!!  We have been lulled to sleep by the powerful influence of materialism, comfort and ease and idleness.

St. Paul wrote to the church at Rome (Romans 13:11-12): “Knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep; for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.  The night is far spent and the day is at hand.”

Paul is crying out to us, “Wake up!!”  The answer to the problems of this storm-ravaged world is Christ the Lord, but this message cannot be sounded by a church that sleeps!

Again, St. Paul blows the trumpet when he says, “Awake thou that sleepest and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light.”  Ephesians 5:14.

Don’t hit the “snooze button.”  See you in church.

Pastor Bill

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During my years in prison, my father wrote articles for his monthly church newsletter.  They each touched my heart, and those of the members of his church during that time; so much so that I want to share them with you.  May God continue to use the words of my father to minister through these pages and this medium.

When Answers Don’t Come Quickly

Written by A Prodigal on September 1, 2006.

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“…always pray and never give up!” – Luke 18:1b

Is there any doubt that God desires and rewards our faith?

Are you ever prone to question why some situations arise and then just hang on – like a parasite threatening to suck the life and faith and joy out of you?  Does it ever seen like the heavens are brass bouncing your prayers right back at you?  Are you ever tempted to call it quits, throw in the towel and surrender?

Well, take a lesson from Hannah.  She knew all about it.  She had the dream of every woman of her day – to give birth to a son.  A simple, normal, natural, God-given desire.  The yardstick by which self-worth was measured.  But she couldn’t conceive.  She remained childless – in spite of her husband’s love and attention – in a society where the barren were shunned – a disgrace.

And, as if that weren’t bad enough, her “rival”, her husband’s other wife, gave her a hard time over it.  Ridicule and insults were Hannah’s lot.  Sound familiar?  Know the feeling?

Well, look at how she handled it.  You think she was ever hurt?  Of course.  Who wouldn’t be?  Angry?  Surely!  Verse 7 sees her provoked to tears.  Discouraged?  Probably!  Verse 8 finds her husband asking why she is so downhearted.

But lose her faith?  Not a chance!  She remained true.  She continued to pray.  She continued to believe.  She never gave up.  She trusted God.

Distracted

Written by A Prodigal on August 31, 2006.

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Early this morning while in the midst of my quiet time with the Lord, an interrupting thought intruded.  About a coat, of all things – a coat recently lost to me.

It was a great coat.  Black and waist length.  Zip-out lining that doubled as a windbreaker.  Pockets everywhere and Velcro take-ups at the cuffs.  I loved that coat.  And it was taken away from me!

I can’t explain why that thought entered my mind as I was reading the end of Isaiah, but it did.  A beautiful coat lost forever.  But the coat is only the tip of the iceberg; for once the Enemy starts me down that particular road, other things cascade in my mind.  A motorcycle with the paint job I designed.  A brand new riding lawn mower – hardly used.  The beautiful acreage.

And not only material things, but my family, my church, my career.  Gone – all gone.  Taken from me for a stupid mistake.

But, in His faithfulness, as I’m careening down that wide highway of regret heading toward the only destination – depression – God provides a place to turn around.  As I open my daily devotional book to check out the thought for the day, the Scripture sears my mind: “Forgetting those things which are behind…”  And I realize how senseless it is for me to lament over those things.  They’re gone.  Worrying won’t restore them to me.  Fretting won’t bring them back.  Being depressed only ruins today – it does nothing to alter the past.

If I believe that my sins are forgiven and are lying somewhere at the bottom of His sea of forgetfulness – and I do…. 
If I believe He makes all things new – and I do…… 
If I believe that He who began a good work will be faithful to complete it – and I do….. 
Then all I must do is “reach forth unto those things which are ahead” and keep the ultimate prize in sight.

He can restore the lost things if He chooses but, regardless, I choose to press toward the mark.

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Back to Prison – Part I

We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.  (II Corinthians 4:8-9)

 

Dejected?  Surely!

 

Confused?  Probably!

 

But doubting? Never!

 

Joseph maintained his faith and started over again. Those were days and weeks and months of idleness, made all the worse coming from his place of responsibility. His nights were consumed with wondering what was going to happen and why he had been removed from usefulness and productivity.  Surely he remembered the meals in Potiphar’s house (meals he had planned) as he ate the prison gruel.  Certainly, lying on the straw mat, he thought of the soft bed he so recently had had.  He probably asked God more than once why he was being punished when he had done nothing wrong.  And Potiphar’s wife?  How long before forgiveness replaced the resentment?

 

But he waited on and trusted in his God.  And God did not disappoint—God made him a success.  A successful inmate; now there is an apparent oxymoron.  But God caused the jailer to take notice of Joseph, and, before you know it, Joseph was running the jail!

Little Things

“The little foxes spoil the vines.”  Song Of Solomon 2:15

 

This scripture pertinently reminds us that, in the realm of the spiritual, there really are no….

 

 

Little Things

 

The worldly pleasures I once sought

Have lost their charm, and tempt me not–

                Desire for them has taken wings;

And yet I sadly must confess

Upon my knees, with real distress

                That I still fail in little things.

 

I never could deliberately

Walk counter to God’s will for me,

                Or yield to conscious sin;

But sometimes I have left undone

The little things that might have won

                A needy soul to Him.

 

The Holy Spirit doth remind,

“The little foxes spoil the vine,”

                And make it fruitless, too;

So help me, Lord, to watch and pray–

To be more faithful day by day

                In even little things for You!

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For more of the poetry of my grandmother, visit the “Uplifted Eyes” page.

Also, please subscribe below for weekly updates on this site.

Dad – Part III

The next several years were spent wandering; moving from one treatment center to the next; one hospital to the next; borrowing money from family and friends with no ability to repay.

 

At one point he was sleeping under a bridge in Nashville.  Desperate, he called one of his few remaining friends—the pastor of the small Nazarene church in Danville, Virginia, we had attended during my high school days.  Rick drove all night, picked up my father and took him back to Danville.  He housed him, fed him, gave him work, and got him help.

 

His dark years were over.  He had finally reached the bottom and made the decision that nothing was worth going through that dark tunnel again.

 

As I write this, nineteen years later, my father has enjoyed those years; sober and helping others.  Now, all these years later, he is back in the ministry, preaching the gospel, exhorting people to turn to Christ and to let Him change their lives.

 

I hate the lost years.  I hate what I saw my mother go through trying to keep my brother and me clothed and fed.  I hate that I lost those years with my father.

The Master Weaver

The Master Weaver is at work in the world. He is actively weaving the tapestry of eternity. What looks disjointed and awkward from our side of the veil, will make perfect sense when we see it from the other side. We will see that indeed all things work together for good.  We will trace the connections made in situations that baffle and amaze  us here.

We will see a level of grace given to the cancer patient so it becomes a ministry opportunity rather than a death sentence.

We will see that a job loss requiring the launch of a new & never-before-comtemplated career had the effect of moving a life across the highways of a nation and planting a testimony within the hearts of others.

We will see a military activation that has the potential to generate a spirit of fear but deepens the faith of a family instead.

We will see that it was our loving Heavenly Father taking the unexpected from the human point of view & turning them into those “all things” happenings of a life committed to Him into the good & beautiful.

I don’t know about you but I’m anxious to see His Tapestry.

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Scoundrels Accepted

Penned January 11, 2007

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Know that I am with you and will keep you wherever you go, and will bring you back to this land; for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised you.”  Genesis 28:15

Conspiracy, fraud, deceit, manipulation.  Not the recipe you would expect for the custodian of God’s promise.

But God has His purpose and His plan in everything.  And here, to preserve Jacob’s life, Rebekah manipulated Isaac into sending Jacob to her family home to find a wife.  This far off country was where Jacob would become Israel and a great nation would come from his loins.

I don’t understand how and why God can use the scoundrels of the world to achieve His ends but this is certainly a common theme.

Thank God, because I’m one of those scoundrels.

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The Choice is Mine

Written January 10, 2007, from Cell 9B15 at West Tennessee State Penitentiary…..

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“…do not be afraid, for I am with you…” Genesis 26:24b

I’m surrounded.  Every minute of every day it bombards me.  It slaps me in the face as the guards shake the door in the morning for count time.  I endure it as I await the breakfast line.  As school begins the officers’ attitudes are fraught with it.  The other inmates are consumed with it.  And usually even those with whom I talk on the phone allow it to invade their thoughts about their life.

So what do I do?  I can allow myself to be sweep away by the tidal wave of negativity.  I can allow my mind to stagnate in this sewer of idleness and apathy.  Or I can choose to buck the trend – fight the tide.

And so I choose.  No more negativity.  It’s so easy to be dragged down into that pit, seeing everything from the pessimistic side, always complaining and whining.  But not only is that an incredibly unattractive personality trait serving to alienate even the most loyal and stalwart allies, it diminishes God Who cares for us and provides and protects.  It comes back to being thankful in all circumstances.  Content and joyful because we know beyond the shadow of any doubt whatsoever that He has our very best interest at heart and all things will work together for our ultimate good.

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If

 

“No manner of hurt was found upon him, because he believed in His God.” Daniel 6:23

 

 God “tries” us to prove us – - that we might prove Him. Only thus can we understand that inexplicable….

 

  

If

If you never were faced with the wild sea’s embrace,

And the enemy’s shout in your ears,

Would you ever “stand still” to behold with a thrill

 God’s pathway that saves from your fears?

 

  

If you never were out in the dark den of doubt,

With the lions tossing their manes,

How then could you guess God’s angel could bless

 By using miraculous chains?

    

If you never were caught in that furnace white-hot

Of suffering beyond strength to bear,

Could you quite understand how real is the Hand

And the Presence that comforts you there?

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For more of the poetry of my grandmother, visit the “Uplifted Eyes” page.

Also, please subscribe below for weekly updates on this site.

Hope Thou In God

“Why art thou cast down O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? Hope thou in God.” Psalms 42:5

 

All the forces of evil may seem to be arrayed against you, but when the light of your faith would flicker and go out….

 

Hope Thou In God

 

“Hope thou in God.” Oh, lift thine eyes

From present trials to yonder skies.

                God marks each tear; He knows thy care–

                In His own time He’ll answer prayer!

 

Trust thou in God, though weariness

Would often tempt thee to distress,

                For when there seems no one to care,

                God loves thee most; thy burdens share!

 

“Hope thou in God,” when utter loss

Would seem the bitterest of cross;

                Remember, Jesus drank this cup,

                And whispers, “Child, look up! Look up! “

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For more of the poetry of my grandmother, visit the “Uplifted Eyes” page.

His Purpose

“How unsearchable are his judgments, and his ways past finding out.” Romans 11:33

 

Perhaps I shall not understand this trial until I awaken in His likeness, but until then, I shall rest with confidence in the wisdom of….

 

His Purpose

 

Sometimes we sadly plead to know

                Why God must send us pain,

When only thus our faith will grow

                As a flower fresh with rain.

 

Sometimes in wonderment we cry

                At losses that have come,

When only thus could our self-life die,

                And God’s own will be done.    

 

Sometimes we strive to understand

                Why some cruel cross we bear,

When only thus will we take His hand,

                And seek His crown to wear.

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God Did It!

David said, “God has burst out against my enemies by my hand,

like a bursting flood.” – I Chronicles 14:11

 

The parsonage sat on a beautiful lot in an older neighborhood of Roanoke, Virginia.  From the back yard, Mill Mountain was breathtakingly beautiful but that sight was completely ignored on that sunny afternoon.

The men of the family were all in the backyard.  Shooting basketball.  Dad and I were trying to prove to each other who was the best shot by taking the long tries from outside the hard-packed dirt where grass refused to grow.

The little guy – my younger brother, only four at the time – didn’t have the option of picking from a variety of shooting spots.  His little arms were barely strong enough to get the ball to the rim when standing directly under the basket.  But that’s where he stood and, when his turn came around, would valiantly try to immulate the grown-ups, slinging the ball up toward the rim.  Failure didn’t seem to affect his determination, but his excitement knew no bounds when, suddenly, one of his shots found the mark.

Turning toward us with the biggest grin on his cherub-like face, he proudly announced, “God did it!”

Having found the range, the next two or three attempts met with similar success and each time he would proclaim that God had made the goal, not him.

Perspective

“All hope was gone…” –Acts 27:20

             The situation had gone from bad to worse.  I’m sure all the sailors, to a man, wished they had stayed to Fair Havens, as undesirable as that prospect had been at the time of their departure.  Their present circumstances made Fair Havens look like paradise.  But all the wishing in the world wasn’t going to change the consequences of that decision.

            Even the good doctor, Luke, seemed to share in the despair.  He reports that the storm raged for “many days…until at last all hope was gone.” (Acts 27:20)

Have you ever been in such a situation?  Are you there now?  Has another’s actions, or inaction, placed you in a precarious predicament?  That’s what happened here – the decision of a few adversely affected the many and now all hope was gone.  They were ready to abandon ship and give up the fight.

Is that where you are today?  Have so many days passed during your crisis that you’ve given up any hope of rescue or relief?  Is all you see, in every direction, high waves and dark clouds?  Are you ready to jump ship and give up?

…including Peter

“….including Peter…..”  (Mark 16:7)

           

It had been a rough week for Peter.  For the one Jesus had dubbed “the Rock”, the events of the past ninety-six hours had been the sledge hammer.  He was a broken man.  Smashed to pieces against his own good intentions.

He had protested at the foot washing Jesus had performed.

He had brashly proclaimed his willingness to go through death with his Lord.

Feeling guilty over his inability to stay awake in the garden, together with his proclivity to act before thinking, he sliced off an ear and received the rebuke of the One he was attempting to protect.

We can almost hear him think, “I just can’t do anything right.”

Then, to compound all of that, when the rubber met the road he faltered.

He failed.

Did you hear that?  He finished what he had started….making a complete mess of things.

And, when the rooster crowed that morning and his mind’s eye replayed the scene and he heard once again Jesus predict this failure, he was done.  Finished.  Humiliated.  Embarrassed.  Done!

Brashness was gone.

Self-image destroyed.

Hope of recovery shattered.

Peter, the Rock, became Simon the fisherman again.  Resigned to a life of mediocrity and obscurity – a failure.

But Jesus had others plans for Peter.  Plans that required – even demanded – his brokenness.

Jesus saw the potential where the world saw failure.  Jesus saw promise where Peter saw only denial.  Jesus saw the foundation of His church while Peter was resigned to pulling and mending nets.

So, on Easter morning, it was no accident that the angel at the tomb specified Peter by name.  At the mention of “disciples”, the women would have naturally included Peter.

It wasn’t for fear of them forgetting to tell Peter.  It wasn’t for Jesus’ sake or heaven’s sake that his name was called.

It was for Peter’s sake.

You see, Peter didn’t feel much like a disciple that morning.  As far as he was concerned that designation had been forfeited, once and for all, around a fire three days before.  A commission for the women to go and tell the disciples would not have drawn Peter to the meeting.

So his name was called.  His was the only name called.  He was the only one who had denied the Christ.  He was the only one whose temperament would not allow him to forgive himself.  So he was called by name.

“Make sure you tell Peter,” the angel said.

Imagine how Peter felt when he heard that heaven had called him by name.

Have you heard your name called?  Do you think your failure is greater than Peter’s?  Do you think you’ve been too bad to be forgiven?

Forget it!  Jesus loves you and is calling you by name.  He has plans for you.  Plans to prosper you as you work for Him.

Repent of your sins.  Genuinely apologize to the God of Heaven and Earth for your failures and then forgive yourself – He’s already forgiven you – and move on in service to Him.

“Now go and give this message to His disciples, including ______.”  Your name goes here.  He died for you.  He lives to make intercession for you.  He loves you.

And that’s enough!

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August 13, 2001 (Part 4 of 4)

Son, you’re like Moses on the backside of the desert.  You’re in boot camp – you’re in school.  God’s getting you ready for a new work and a new life!

St. Paul wrote his greatest epistles while in prison.  Not a mountain retreat, but a dungeon.

And don’t forget God know how to get His servants out of prison, if He has to shake it down.  That is, if it’s His will.

Jonah disobeyed God and wound up in the stomach of a fish.  God got him out and he set out to accomplish God’s original plan and purpose.

Everything depends on what your plan and purpose is.  If it is to respond to the heart-cry of suffering men, women and children, it is God’s will that they be rescued and saved.

God can only use those who are broken through suffering.  “Even the Son of God learned obedience through the things which He suffered”, and “through suffering Christ became the Captain of our Salvation.”

Peter writes, “After you have suffered a while…make you perfect and establish and settle you.”

God has His own way of getting us fit for service.  “A vessel unto honor, sanctified and meet for the Master’s use.”

As for the pastor and people there, I’m sure they struggle with the matter of loyalties.  Your wife and the boys are the victims and they are reaching out to them which is what they should be doing.  I’m sure pastor and people feel that to show you interest and attention would be an act of disloyalty to your wife and the boys.  This is not right!

You are a victim, too!  A victim of Satan’s scheme.  The word is clear, “If any of you be overtaken in a fault (weakness – sin) ye which are spiritual restore such an one in a spirit of meekness – considering thyself lest thou also be tempted.”  Galatians 6:1.  It goes on to say, “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfill to law of Christ.”  Galatians 6:2.

I, too, ran into this.  While in Nashville trying to recover, I went to a gathering at TNC when Chuck Milhuff was speaking there.  I walked up to a group of ministers, many I had know and worked with.  Twice I went to these men and put out my hand.  They turned and walked away.

Not all are like this, thank god.  Dr. Greathouse, John Andrus (Chattanooga First), Carl Sherman (Papaw’s buddy) and other, have stayed in touch with love and understanding.

As for your marriage, you must know that is over.  She is pushing for the “max” out of fear for herself and the boys.  You must pray for grace to put that family on God’s back burner.

I mentioned several pages back about the 12 steps and the 12 promises.  The first promise is this: We will know a new freedom and a new happiness. 

The second one is tougher to swallow: We will not regret the past not wish to shut the door on it.

This was the big one for me!  I choked on this, and raised the roof about it in many AA meeting.  I would say, “How am I not supposed to regret shattering the hearts of a wonderful wife and sons as well as hundreds of church people who believed in me?”  I really stormed at them until an old-timer with 25 or more years in recovery said, “Bill, everything you lost is what it took to get you where you are today.  It took what it took!  You can feel sad for the hurt you caused others, but don’t regret the price you paid to get straight and sane in your thinking!!”  Then he said, “Don’t shut the door on your past, leave that door ajar – just a crack – because God might just bring back some of those things or people when God feels you are ready for it.”

These are difficult words to digest but so true.  He said, “You leave the door open a crack for another reason.  You will remember people you hurt or things you did that you need to apologize for and set records straight.”

We sang the words for years, “Whatever it takes…”  The main thing is that we are under the Blood and ready for Heaven, and that we are serving Him until He calls us.  It’s hard for us to see God’s “Big Picture” of things.

I’ll pick up on this in another letter.  This is getting long and it’s getting late.  I have gotten your letters and appreciate hearing from you.

I love you and pray daily.

Always,

Your Dad

P.S. Remember….

F  alse
E  vidence
A  ppearing                “FEAR is the ‘dark room’ where all our negatives are developed.”
R  eal

                                                Pretty good, huh?

 

P.P.S.  So glad you are reading and praying!

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For more of the Prodigal’s Mail, click here.

Read Part 3

August 13, 2001 (Part 3 of 4)

I know your own pain is so intense and unbearable that it’s hard to imagine anyone else hurting, too – this is natural – all I could think of was, “My God, I’ve made a mess of everything and I have lost my family, my ministry, my life!!”  All the while your poor mother was dying by degrees.  You boys were dying.  Pastors and laymen over the nation were praying for me and dying.  Be patient.

Where was I?  I had a thought going and lost it when your letter came –

Oh, yes….O. J. Simpson’s wife, Nicole, who was murdered, has a sister who was so shattered by Nicole’s death that she has started a national program for battered women.  I see her on the news programs often.

John Walsh, whose son was kidnapped and murdered was nearly destroyed himself through that terrible experience.  It was at this time that he went to D. C. and all the major news networks and got permission and funding to start the broadcast “America’s Most Wanted” which has run for 16 years and has been the means of apprehending hundreds of criminals and sex offenders.

All that to say this: you have to fight the thing that nearly destroyed you, or it will overtake you and finish the job.

They say, “The best defense is a good offense.”

Nothing reinforces your own recovery and reduces the risk of relapse like active involvement in a program to help others with the same problem.  And Son, it’s everywhere. 

MSNBC, as well as many other networks, is carrying one program after another about “Sex for Sale” which has flooded the country and the world, now reaching little children through the Web until little children are making copies of nude people and exchanging them with each other at school!  The accessibility of the computer sex market has flooded the country until it has reached epidemic proportions.

A congressional committee has or is meeting in D.C. to discuss this real problem (I saw this on C-Span).  They had video machines set up and were reviewing some of the material that our children have access to.  Porn is linked with most major crime in the U.S. and other countries.  It’s powerful and pervasive.  It’s obsessive and addictive.

Something to think about in view of your own precious boys – as well as other scores of children just like yours: nothing builds trust with the ones you’ve injured like taking an active role in combating the problem.

Had I not become active in helping alcoholics and addicts the 5 years at Hope Harbor and another 4 years in charge of the out-patient program at the hospital, I doubt I would be alive today.  Hundreds went through those programs that were helped and many have held out and are in recovery and many in church with their families.  My dream was to make this old house a recovery center or an intermediate care facility for people getting out of treatment centers for 30 days with nowhere to go except back to the old “playgrounds and playmates” which leads them back into relapse.

But I have had no money and by the time I got the place partially restored my health had begun to fail.  But it’s OK today.

The 8^th of next month will be 11 unbroken years I have been free one day at a time from the addiction that destroyed my ministry, my marriage and nearly my life!

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For more of the Prodigal’s Mail, click here.

Read Part 2 of this letter…

Read Part 4 of this letter…..

Forty

Forty.

I never considered how many times that number was used in the Word.  And, as I realize it’s frequency of use, I wonder about its significance.  Is it simply a nice round number the various writers of the Bible used or is there more to it than that?

Personally I don’t believe God makes mistakes, nor is He ever surprised by coincidence or circumstances.  The God Who formed me so carefully in my mother’s womb, the God Who so meticulously laid out the blueprints of the tabernacle, the Author of the wondrous plan of salvation, had to have a reason for using this number.  There has to be some significance to it.

But what?

As a child I remember agonizing over the confinement forced upon me during a two or three day rain storm.  The desire – the need – to escape to the outdoors, to run in the grass and to feel the sun on my face was so intense as to make the three days seem like eternity.  So I can imagine old Noah, not just stuck inside, but stuck in there with that menagerie – and their aromas – as well as the in-laws, and not only for a few days of rain, but forty of them, knowing that, for each day of rain, his imprisonment would lengthen by twice.

Our Lord, on the threshold of His ministry, spent a long and hungry forty days in the wilderness.

The forty days Moses was on the mountain of God receiving the law proved too long for the Israelites who succumbed to the temptation to make a substitute for the One True God.

And these are the examples of “days”.  What about the “years”?

I think of old Moses again.  Divinely protected at birth, destined to be the instrument of deliverance for his people, jumping ahead of God’s timing and killing the Egyptian.  An act for which he was sentenced to forty years on the back side of a desert, no doubt frustrated and riddled with self-doubt and low self-esteem.

I think of the real children of Israel.  Those young souls who were underage upon their first arrival at the border of the promised land.  The children of that sinful and doubting generation who, through no fault of their own, were sentenced to forty years of wilderness wandering.

So, again I ask, what’s with the number forty?

I think it’s symbolic of patience.  Waiting on God.  Trusting His plan.

It’s Noah believing enough to build the boat and sit through the storm.

It’s the Creator wanting His children, the children of promise, the ones with the dust from the floor of the Red Sea still on their feet, to trust Him and wait.

It’s the youngsters plodding through the desert, eating miracle manna, drinking stone water, trusting God’s timing.

It’s the Son patiently dealing with the feeble attempts of the tempter, when He could have ended it all with a Word.

And it’s me.  It’s me being required to do twice the time normally required for the crime I committed.  It’s me being required to serve forty months – there’s that number again – when others with the same sentence leave after twenty.  It’s me being asked to be patient and trust that God knows best.

There’s certainly nothing magic about forty.  But God will reward patience and a deep rooted trust in Him.

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For more Ponderings, click here.

9 – 146 – 5000

Strange title for a blog entry, I know, but very significant.

Nine months ago today I was just 120 hours out of prison.  As it always seems to be with time, in some ways the time as flown by.  It has passed in a blink and I still feel that it was just so very recently that I was locked away from all I hold dear.  But the time has plodded along at it’s ordained and steady pace and God has blessed and provided in so many ways, most of which you have read about if you have visited here much at all.  So many wonderful and unbelieveable people have entered my life over the last nine months.  So many stages of transition have been experienced in the whirlwind that as become my new life.  Nine months.  Such a short time for so much to have happened.

This effort was initiated in December of 2007, and this is the 146th post made to this weblog.  And the words – so many words – have not been mine, but God’s.  The things written about and commented upon in this endeavor are things He has brought to my mind.  I am merely the conduit through whom He has chosen to speak these things.  Hopefully – and prayerfully – as I have written them and posted them, someone else has found them helpful during their dark days of confusion and despair.

Five thousand.  The pages of this weblog have been viewed five thousand times in this short time span.  To those of you who have returned again and again to read of this Prodigal’s journey into and then out of the pit, thank you.  You have encouraged me and have kept me on the task I feel God has given me.

9 – 146 – 5000.  All milestones.  All successfully negotiated hurdles.  And it continues………..

Exiled

“…..until the Exile.”

            Micah was a scoundrel.  And he appeared to get away with it.

            He stole silver from his mother.  When confronted and questioned about it he confessed and returned it.

            Mom was so impressed that she melted some of the silver and made an idol for the home.  An object of worship.

            So successful was Micah at ignoring God with apparent impunity that he formed his own temple and even hired a passing Levite as a priest.  Religion for sale.  Morals for sale.  A god at bargain basement prices.

            Who needs God?  He had an object of worship, a temple, a priest.  What a deal, right?

            Everything was going along just fine until a bunch of Danites came through and decided they wanted this laid back, free-style form of religion.

            The Levite, having already prostituted himself to Micah, found it a small step to move on to a higher bidder.  The Danites stole the silver idol from Micah’s house and stole a town from the Sidonians and set up shop.

            How many times in the Book of Judges do we read the sad epitaph?  “In those days there was no king in Israel.  Everyone did what was right in their own eyes.”

            Does this sound at all familiar?  We’ve lied.  We’ve cheated.  We’ve misrepresented.  We’ve stolen.  We’ve killed – maybe not physically, but certainly figuratively.  We’ve replaced God with something or someone else.  We’ve created our own religion.  We’ve sought out and found a religion or a church that preaches a “gospel” that is so watered down – diluted – that it doesn’t offend us. 

We commit character assassination.  We lust in our hearts.  We secretly covet what our neighbor has.  We harbor grudges and ill-will in our hearts.

Don’t we remember that murder and gossip are the same in God’s eyes?

            Or maybe you’ve changed your ways, repented and turned your life around and wonder why those around you, still going on their merry way, are seemingly immune from the trials and tribulations with which you are dealing and struggling.

            Are you so very tired of watching others skate through life trouble free while you are so troubled?  Financially set while you are financially strapped?  Relationally happy while you feel relationally challenged?  

            My advice?  Hold on!

            Believe me, I can understand your frustration.  I know how it feels to try to pray when the heavens feel like brass.  I’ve experienced days and weeks – even months – without any apparent move by God on any situation about which I was concerned.

            But, if you are reconciled with God, while “in this life you will have struggles” and while the struggles are sometimes debilitating, we can have the blessed assurance that our God will never leave us or forsake us.  His anger with us over the past is so short-lived and His lovingkindness reaches beyond the stars.  Weeping may last for the night, but joy – blessed joy – comes in the morning.

            Hold on!  Don’t lose hope.  Do not release your grip on Him.

            And when you’re tempted to just give up because of the seeming injustice you see around you, remember the story of Micah.

            Everything rocked along just fine…..”until the Exile.”

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For more Ponderings, click here.

Choose to Run

For surely I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for your welfare and not for harm, to give you a future with hope.  Then when you call upon me and come and pray to me, I will hear you.  When you search for me, you will find me; if you seek me with all your heart.  I will let you find me, says the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, says the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.  Jeremiah 29:11-14

I have always been fascinated by people who have the discipline and ability to get out, day or night, hot or cold, rain or shine, and run.

Why do they do it?

Are they getting ready for a big race?  Probably not.

Are they preparing themselves so that IF they are ever accosted, they can sprint to safety without becoming too winded too quickly or without their legs tiring too fast?  That’s unlikely.

I’ve tried to develop this discipline.  Over the years I have spent untold hundreds of dollars on running shoes and clothes – like I needed some special “look” to run.

I joined track teams in both junior high and in college.  Both times I rationalized my decision to quit.  Justified it by telling myself that I was just not cut out to be a runner – I didn’t have the “stuff”.

Well, yesterday I did it again.  I stopped in and bought some new running shorts and short socks and I’m going to try it again.  Not because I’m afraid of or expecting an attack.  And not really because I want to lose the little paunch that I have developed over the years.  But because I want the discipline in my life.  I need the discipline in my life.

I have always been fascinated by people who have the drive to get out of bed an hour before they really have to, regardless of how late they were up the night before – although I expect that getting to bed at a reasonable hour is a part of the discipline, too – to pray and study and listen to God.

Why do they do it?

Do they think they are going to be engaged in some sort of intense spiritual battle that day?  They’d better, because that’s what happens – daily!  Satan is out there.  The Bible says he’s prowling around like a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour.  I have been devoured  When the spiritual battle came – and it always comes – I was out of shape.  I tired too quickly.  My spiritual legs gave out.

I never was much of a threat to Satan.  I never developed the discipline of prayer and study.  Oh, sure, when the big test was approaching and I hadn’t studied as I should have, or when the money was all gone and the twins needed food, or when the office payroll came due and the work was not there, or when I found myself in jail with very few friends and the bad news was hitting me from every direction, in those times I would be very disciplined, very conscientious, about my devotional life.

But I’ve never learned the trick of preparing for battle in times of peace, of staying prepared for the battle even when the threat board was empty.

Today I choose to prepare.  I choose to be disciplined.  I choose to let God control my life one hour at a time.  I choose to run and I choose to pray.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 is my promise.  I want to search for Him and His will for me with all my heart.  I want to get in on his plans to prosper me – not as the world perceives prosperity, but I want to be rich toward God and in what He has in store for me.

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I wrote this while sitting at my brother’s house.  I wrote this thirteen days after my bail was posted and I regained some measure of freedom, tenuous though it was.  I wrote this the day before 9/11, never comtemplating the change the next day would effect in the psyche of our nation and the world.  I wrote this not realizing until later just how quickly everything that matters can change. 

Will God Change His Mind – Part II

And the LORD changed his mind about the disaster that he planned to bring on his people.  Exodus 32:14

     They were having a great conversation.  So good, in fact, that they, or at least one of them, lost all track of time.  He would find out later from the people in camp, that he’d been away for forty days and nights.  Yet he would never remember the first pang of hunger or sensation of thirst.  All his needs had been met by his companion.

     As the conversation drew to a close, that companion, the Lord God Almighty, announced that He intended to destroy the people of Israel.  “They have become corrupt, they have fallen away from my commands.  They are hard-headed and they refuse to remain faithful to me.”

     The Bible says, “But Moses sought the favor of the Lord, his God.” 

Will God Change His Mind – Part I

It was a terribly hot day, hotter than was normal for the region.  The old man sat in the shade of the great trees that were to be found scattered throughout the area.

His wife was also out of the sun, but was keeping herself busy in the tent.

He couldn’t really say where they came from but he was suddenly aware of the three men standing out in the heat.

“Please, gentlemen, come in out of the heat and allow me to share my provisions with you.”

They had to be hot. 

Hold On

“We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first!” Hebrews 3:14

     I’ve been trying to lift some weights, using my time wisely, and all that.  I figure if I sit in this prison for however many months and years without doing everything I can to better myself, then this time has been a waste.
     So I’m trying to build a little muscle.  Spending several hours a week pushing filthy pieces of iron around – pushing my body to its limit.  Beyond its limit at times.
     And, of course, there are plenty of recommendations, suggestions, advice, and, yes, criticism, available and stuffed down your throat regarding this weightlifting deal.  Everyone has an opinion and “the” program to build muscle faster, easier and quicker.
     Well, there’s nothing fast, easy or quick about this process.  It requires dedication, discipline and commitment.  I’ve been at it for three months and I would have to say that I’m not overly impressed with my progress.  But I’m not going to stop.  I have too much time and effort invested to quit now.
     One of my aspirations through this process is to be able to complete a set of 25 pull-ups.  Completely rested and fresh I may be able to manage 4 or 5, so I have a way to go.  A magazine article I read recently provided “quick and easy” steps to accomplish this goal.  The first step was to test yourself and make sure that you could grab an overhead bar and hang there for 60 seconds.
     No sweat, you think, anybody should be able to do that.  My response to that?  Try it!  The first time I did, I managed to hold on for 35 seconds.  Much more difficult than it sounds or even looks as I watched others do it.
     All of this was on my mind as I read my devotions this morning.  “We have come to share in Christ if we hold firmly till the end the confidence we had at first!” Hebrews 3:14
     I remembered my attempt to hold onto that bar.  During the first 10 seconds or so I felt strong and thought, “No sweat!”  But as the half minute mark approached and my hands began to ache and my forearms burned with the infusion of lactic acid, I quickly changed my tune.
     The longer I held on the harder it was to continue, until I finally was forced – by my own body – to relinquish my grasp.  How much like our walk of faith this is.  We begin to walk with our Lord and Savior and we think, “No sweat!”  But the longer a particular trial lasts – trials like prison terms or unemployment – the more we long for relief and release.  Do we have the ability to hang on?
     Not on our own.  Not in our own strength.  But the comforting realization is that we don’t have to be able to hold on to the problem.  We don’t even have to maintain our grip on Jesus.  The nail-scarred hands are holding us.
     Our job?  Trust Him and relax in His grasp.  By struggling and writhing around, we can wrench ourselves away from him.  Which reminds me of another of my favorite scriptures: “Be still, and know that I am God.”
     Relax and believe in God.  He who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it.

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For more Ponderings, click here.

Stand Fast

So then, brothers and sisters, stand firm and hold fast to the traditions that you were taught by us, either by word of mouth or by our letter. 
II Thessalonians 2:15    

     St. Paul sent a powerful warning to the church of the Thessalonians, regarding the “Day of the Lord” that was sure to come, but would be preceded by “A FALLING AWAY FIRST”… and the advent of “that MAN OF SIN REVEALED, THE SON OF PERDITION…”  (the Antichrist).This is a gripping chapter telling of the “Mystery of iniquity that doth ALREADY WORK, (verse 8) and of the introduction of the Antichrist, once the Holy Spirit is taken out of the way.” (verse 7)The Holy Spirit dwells in the hearts of the saints, (the saints – the body of believers), so this refers to the Rapture of the church. (1 Thess. 4:16-18)  “Caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so shall we ever be with the Lord!”
     His coming is upon us!  The Middle East is a ticking bomb!  The nations that will play a vital role in the fulfillment of prophesy are IN POSITION for the final war!  (Armageddon)  But Paul stresses that it will not happen “EXCEPT there come a FALLING AWAY first!”
     Dear friends we are seeing this ‘falling away’ before our very eyes!  Paul wrote to Timothy listing the conditions characterizing the last days among which, he described the church as “HAVING A FORM OF godliness but denying the power thereof:  FROM SUCH TURN AWAY.”  (II Tim. 3:5)  That means, RUN!!!  Jesus warned that the final church age (Laodicean) would be rich and increased with goods, but “Lukewarm” and that He would spew them out of His mouth!!  (Rev. 3:16)                With the “Mystery of Iniquity” working overtime in these perilous times preceding the Rapture of the church, and the ushering in of the Great Tribulation, The church should be ablaze with faith, fire and evangelistic fervor – with revivals flaming forth with seekers finding His transforming grace in pardon and sanctifying love!  Paul said, “Therefore brethren,  STAND FAST and HOLD THE TRADITIONS YE HAVE BEEN TAUGHT WHETHER BY WORD OR BY OUR EPISTLE!!  (II Thess. 2:15)
     Bible Way Fellowship still sings the Spirit anointed hymns of the church of our heritage!  The Word of God is preached without fear of favor of men!  There is an altar in our church which symbolizes the foot of the cross, the “Fountain filled with blood drawn from Emanuel’s veins and sinners plunge beneath that flood LOSE ALL THEIR GUILTY STAINS!!  THE WAY of HOLINESS is preached as a second definite work of Divine grace – the CENTRAL MESSAGE of God’s Word!  There are seekers at the altar nearly every service with testimonies of His saving and sanctifying power.  If you long for those “Good Old Days” of  revival and camp meeting preaching and singing.  I’ll reserve a special seat for you on the fifty yard line!                                           
“Standing Fast”  -  Pastor Bill

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During my years in prison, my father wrote articles for his monthly church newsletter.  They each touched my heart, and those of the members of his church during that time; so much so that I want to share them with you.  May God continue to use the words of my father to minister through these pages and this medium.

Wasted Time

Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness…” Matthew 4:1a 

Jesus knew who He was.  He knew He wasn’t the son of a carpenter from Nazareth.  Remember the childhood disappearance when He was found in the Temple?  “Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?” (Luke 2:49) 

So I imagine, as He walked the earth during those first thirty years, noticing the misery, the hopelessness, the depression of the people, He repeatedly prayed for the Father to allow His earthly ministry to begin. 

But it wasn’t time. 

I can imagine, as He was submerged beneath the water, water that he had made, held there by His cousin, who He had made, that He felt a flutter of anticipation in His breast – “It’s time!” 

As He surfaced and He recognized the voice of the Father proclaiming His Son-ship from the heavens, he must have felt an incredible surge of power and eagerness, muscles quivering with readiness to begin the next phase, adrenaline coursing through His veins, ecstatic over the possibilities – over the task at hand…finally. 

But the Father said to wait.  The Spirit led Him into the wilderness. 

“Wait, My Son.  Be patient!” 

How difficult it must have been.  The Son, as part of the Triune Godhead, had an eternal view.  A thousand years were as a day and a day as a thousand years. 

But the Son, as one who had voluntarily put on skin, had a finite view.  His time for ministry was short.  Each day important.  How easy for the Son to chafe under the command to “wait”. 

But He waited and followed the Spirit.  He obeyed.  He acquiesced. 

Are you being asked to wait?  Are you in a place you don’t understand?  Are there things that you see you need to be doing?  Good things?  Productive things?  But you’re being required to wait? 

My answer to all those questions is “Yes!” 

Do I understand?  No! 

Will I ever understand the purpose of this time? 

Maybe! 

Maybe not! 

The Father doesn’t promise us understanding.  He promises us provision, sustenance and hope.  This side of heaven we won’t understand God’s perfect plan any more than we will understand why Jesus was led into the wilderness. 

Be patient. 

Trust. 

God doesn’t make mistakes.  Nothing is wasted or accidental with Him. 

Are you being required to wait? 

Then wait. 

And trust. 

And look for His release from the wait. 

See:
Matthew 4:1-11
Isa. 30:18
Psalm 40:1
Psalm 27:14
Psalm 130:5 

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For more Ponderings, click here

Confusion

Therefore it was called Babel, because there the LORD confused the language of all the earth; and from there the LORD scattered them abroad over the face of all the earth. Genesis 11:9
Terah took his son Abram and his grandson Lot son of Haran, and his daughter-in-law Sarai, his son Abram’s wife, and they went out together from Ur of the Chaldeans to go into the land of Canaan; but when they came to Haran, they settled there. Genesis 11:31

Is there still any doubt about God being in control? 

If there is, the story of the Tower of Babel should dispose of it.  Man can make his plans, dream his grand dreams and bask in his illusions of grandeur, but at the end of the day, God has the final say.

We start out on many journeys throughout life.  Careers, marriages, missions and purposes.  Yet so many times we fail to persevere and see our dreams realized.  The family of Abram set out for Canaan, but somehow became distracted along the way so “they settled”.  Sadder words were never penned.  How many times have I been in the midst of a good thing only to become distracted?  How many times have I settled for less than my dream or forfeited a goal in exchange for the substandard?  Less than God’s plan.  Less than my potential.  Less!! 

Well, I’m through with less.  I want more.  I want far beyond anything I could ever ask of even think.  I want abundance and fullness and richness of life here and eternity in heaven with Jesus.

Is that asking too much?  I don’t think so.  Neither does God!

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For more Ponderings, click here.